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{ "id":5246277255326, "title":"Queer Astrology for Women","handle":"queer-astrology-for-women", "description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eA hilariously irreverent and startlingly insightful astrology guide for lesbians. Jill Dearman is a breakthrough astrologer for our time. No one has approached the stars with her sass and class ever before! Her guide to astrology for lesbians is lively, revealing-and naughty! Sections include: in life, in bed, how to seduce her, doing her and dating her, how to last over the long haul, how to get rid of her, and the three faces of each sign. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHow to get rid of an Aquarius woman: Ms. Aquarius will pack her bags soon after you start invading her personal space and drowning her in too much nonstop and irrational emotion. Ms. Aquarius hates to feel trapped, so if you slowly take away all her freedoms, you will be watching her walk out the door faster than you can sing \"This is the dawning of the. . .\" \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe Cancer woman is intensely emotion. . . and her moods change with the tides. Not that you can every completely figure her out. Would you dare to assume you could understand the sea or fully absorb or comprehend a beautiful piece of music? Or course not, you silly lesbian. So don't patronize this lovely woman. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eBut getting rid of a Cancer woman: Please don't be a cad and pull off the old \"I'm going out for a pack of cigarettes (or a bag of Kitty Litter)\" and never come back routine. She'll have your mother sitting with her and holding her hand, worrying, before you've made it past the border. And a complete compatibility profile of each astrological combination: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eTake Aries and Cancer: The best part? They can be fiercely loyal and protective of each other. The worst part? They instinctively know how to hurt each other's feelings and often do, in a most brutal way. Ms. Aries, ruled by fire strikes quickly and forcefully and without thinking. \"Don't each that doughnut! It'll make you fat!\" Ms Cancer, ruled by water, knows how to create a mood of subtle emotional torture. \"I don't feel like being touched. . . No, I don't want to be alone... Can't we just sit together in the same room and not touch and not make such a big deal about it?\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca title=\"Shipping Information and Returns at Happy Soul Online\" href=\"https:\/\/happysoulonline.myshopify.com\/pages\/shipping-and-returns\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eShipping \u0026amp; Returns\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf insufficient stock is available for your order, please\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/happysoulonline.com\/pages\/contact-us\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-href=\"https:\/\/happysoulonline.com\/pages\/contact-us\"\u003econtact us\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e", "published_at":"2021-01-29T15:20:47", "created_at":"2020-05-28T15:19:02", "vendor":"Quanta Distribution", "type":"Books", "tags":[], "price":2800, "price_min":2800, "price_max":2800, "price_varies":false, "compare_at_price":null, "compare_at_price_min":0, "compare_at_price_max":0, "compare_at_price_varies":false, "all_variant_ids":[34483940262046], "variants":[{"id":34483940262046,"title":"Default Title","option1":"Default Title","option2":null,"option3":null,"sku":"","requires_shipping":true,"taxable":true,"featured_image":null,"available":true,"name":"Queer Astrology for Women","public_title":null,"options":["Default Title"],"price":2800,"weight":150,"compare_at_price":null,"inventory_quantity":2,"inventory_management":"shopify","inventory_policy":"deny","barcode":"5632755854","requires_selling_plan":false,"selling_plan_allocations":[]}], "available":null,"images":["\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2419\/5919\/products\/51-Wpru8GQL._SX322_BO1_204_203_200.jpg?v=1611951663"],"featured_image":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2419\/5919\/products\/51-Wpru8GQL._SX322_BO1_204_203_200.jpg?v=1611951663", "options":["Title"], "url":"\/products\/queer-astrology-for-women"}

Queer Astrology for Women

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A hilariously irreverent and startlingly insightful astrology guide for lesbians. Jill Dearman is a breakthrough astrologer for our time. No one has approached the stars with her sass and class ever before! Her guide to astrology for lesbians is lively, revealing-and naughty! Sections include: in life, in bed, how to seduce her, doing her and dating her, how to last over the long haul, how to get rid of her, and the three faces of each sign.

How to get rid of an Aquarius woman: Ms. Aquarius will pack her bags soon after you start invading her personal space and drowning her in too much nonstop and irrational emotion. Ms. Aquarius hates to feel trapped, so if you slowly take away all her freedoms, you will be watching her walk out the door faster than you can sing "This is the dawning of the. . ."

The Cancer woman is intensely emotion. . . and her moods change with the tides. Not that you can every completely figure her out. Would you dare to assume you could understand the sea or fully absorb or comprehend a beautiful piece of music? Or course not, you silly lesbian. So don't patronize this lovely woman.

But getting rid of a Cancer woman: Please don't be a cad and pull off the old "I'm going out for a pack of cigarettes (or a bag of Kitty Litter)" and never come back routine. She'll have your mother sitting with her and holding her hand, worrying, before you've made it past the border. And a complete compatibility profile of each astrological combination:

Take Aries and Cancer: The best part? They can be fiercely loyal and protective of each other. The worst part? They instinctively know how to hurt each other's feelings and often do, in a most brutal way. Ms. Aries, ruled by fire strikes quickly and forcefully and without thinking. "Don't each that doughnut! It'll make you fat!" Ms Cancer, ruled by water, knows how to create a mood of subtle emotional torture. "I don't feel like being touched. . . No, I don't want to be alone... Can't we just sit together in the same room and not touch and not make such a big deal about it?"

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Use the crystals in meditation, journaling, contemplation and guidance, by placing it on your body, carrying in your pocket, bag, or by placing it near you on your night table or work space. Read into the message and meaning behind the crystal, look at it, and absorb the positive energy from it.

How to Clean Crystals

    • Soak in water (but not Malachite, Lapis, Pyrite, Selenite, Tourmaline or Turquoise as they will get chalky)
    • Place in moonlight or sunlight to clean and charge (but not Amethyst as it will dull)
    • Place in presence of candle light
    • Cover with sea salt for 24 hours
    • Clear using Sage/Palo Santo
    • Place around Tibetan Singing Bowl or Bells while using them
    • Bury in sand, soil or brown rice over night
    • Lightwork – connect to Divine light and "visualize" a clearing light getting rid of negative energy and charging your crystals
    • Place on top of Selenite logs to charge and clear other crystals
    • Pyramid shapes clear and charge crystals

Different colours have different properties.

MagentaHelps improve energy levels, self-respect, and composure. Aids in concentration and mental focus. 

VioletEase of self peace, love, and concern for others. Improves self-respect and is relaxing. 

BlueImproves communicative ability and allows for physical and mental expansion and relaxation.

TurquoiseSupportive. Refreshes and alleviates stress. Holds leadership quality without being oppressive.

GreenBalancing the physical and emotional, while also improving vitality and health. Stability and equilibrium.

Yellow Bright, light, happy and joyous. Contributes to raising letting go and getting in tune with the ethereal realm.

OrangeNatural antidepressant, happiness, and aids in the digestive tract. Contributes to letting go and ease.

RedImproves vitality and energy. Invigorating and activates vitals in a supportive manner. Counteracts exhaustion.

Different Crystals can be used to help improve different Chakras.

CrownThis chakra connects one to the divine. Higher wisdom and connection to higher planes. Inner peace and integration with cosmic energy.

Thrid Eye: Connects one to information beyond science and the physical plane. Spiritual wisdom can be obtained and understood through this channel.

Throat: Allows for inner feelings and manifestations of human experience to be transformed into expression. Reflection, communication, and sharing.

Heart: This is the centre of the chakra system, holding an equal balance to the physical and metaphysical. Free love, and the neutralization of negative feelings.

Solar Plexus: Impulse based centre, promoting wishes and desires to be acted upon. Expression of the personality manifests through action.

Sacral: Connects one to their inner creative energy. Feelings and emotions flow freely, and manages relations of lovers and friends alike.

Root: Connects one to the earth, the physical world. The "I am" and "Being" center. The foundation for spiritual evolution to grow upwards from.

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